


Grieving Process

by AnyaElizabeth



Category: Torchwood
Genre: F/M, Set after S1
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-23
Updated: 2009-11-23
Packaged: 2017-10-03 15:12:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnyaElizabeth/pseuds/AnyaElizabeth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gwen is in charge, and she wants to look after her team better than Jack did.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Grieving Process

**Author's Note:**

> The first thing I write in the slashiest fandom ever is hetsnogs. What can I say? The bunny grabbed me, and rarer pairings are awesome. Slightly relies on the notion that the Torchwood girls are oblivious to the Jack/Ianto S1 banging, which I find unlikely but not impossible. :)

Gwen glanced at the clock. Ianto had been down in the archives for five hours straight, now; the CCTV showed he was alright, diligently organising files and tagging artifacts, but Gwen was concerned. He'd not been the same since Jack left. Gwen confessed to having little understanding of him; he was too quiet, too private, he gave so little away, and he did such a very good job at blending into the background that she'd pretty much left him there until taking over the team had forced her to keep an eye on him.

God, it still hurt; that Jack had _left _them, just run away across the Plass and disappeared without a backward glance. Owen was left in charge, but he was an apathetic leader, choosing to be snide and resentful at Jack rather than make any decisions. He'd not wanted the role, that was clear, and when they'd fought over how to avoid the Himalayas mission he'd just given up and snapped, "You decide, if you're so good."

So she'd made a decision, and continued to make them that day, waiting until Owen came out of his sulk and took proper charge. It did not happen, and by the next day he was addressing her as boss.

She'd shot a look at Tosh and Ianto. They just looked relieved.

So she'd taken charge, and they'd gone to the Himalayas, and by the end of the freezing, maddening, terrifying trip they were a working team. Gwen could see it on their faces just as she could feel it in her heart that they were still hurt, but fury prevailed, bonded them; after another week at the hub, they were a well-oiled machine.

But today, today was a quiet day, and Gwen was using it to take stock. Four team members, each currently doing their job. Herself, she was holding up just fine thank you very much Jack. Owen seemed quite fine too, though occasionally he'd come sweeping from the autopsy room with a smirk and some oh-so-clever report only to stop, look at her blankly, and remember that it wasn't Jack. Tosh, of course, immersed herself in alien tech and when asked, just smiled sadly and said she hoped Jack was happy. Ianto, however... she couldn't think why he had taken it so very badly. It was as though the capacity to smile had drained right out of him. There he was, going through the motions, proving himself quietly indispensable, but it was though a light had gone out; he was quiet, withdrawn, and a raised eyebrow from him was a rare gift indeed. Gwen was beginning to worry, now; he'd not been this quiet since _that _incident, and that quietness hadn't lasted long. Of course, she had a suspicion Jack had something to do with that, of course he had, but she hadn't realised until now just how much of an effect he'd had on the man.

She glanced at Tosh. Tosh knew him better; she'd know if Gwen should be worried.

"I'm going to fetch Ianto a cup of coffee, do you want another one?" she said, moving away from her desk. Tosh looked up and smiled.

"Yeah, thanks."

Gwen nodded and picked up her cup. She hesitated.

"Tosh -" she began. Tosh looked up distractedly.

"Does Ianto seem - a bit down, to you?"

Tosh glanced up at the CCTV and sighed.

"We all seem a bit down at the moment. It's quiet around here without Jack."

"When we're not chasing aliens, at least," said Gwen, grinning, and Tosh smiled.

"Except for then," she agreed.

"But do you think he's alright? Ianto, I mean."

"Course he is," said Owen loudly, coming up behind her. "He's just grumpy because he's not getting any with Jack gone."

Gwen raised her eyebrows.

"Were him and Jack actually –"

"Oh, don't tell me you didn't know," said Owen incredulously. "Come on, I thought girls were meant to be the gossips. Jack and Ianto were copping off after hours, I'm certain of it."

"Oh, and you know this how?" she said, raising an eyebrow. "Been watching on the CCTV, have you?"

"Urgh," said Owen, "No. But it's obvious, innit? Ianto's always at the hub late, Jack sleeps here, think of all those hours on their own - Jack's not a man to let an opportunity go by. Besides, I've seen them in the morning, Jack grinning like a Cheshire bloody cat and Ianto wearing the same shirt as the day before. I've been taking it for granted."

"You obviously spend a lot more time looking at Ianto's shirts than we do," said Gwen. Owen pulled a face at her. "Besides, it's not impossible to wear the same shirt twice."

"Ianto doesn't usually," said Tosh thoughtfully. Owen looked satisfied.

"Thank you, Tosh. And it's not just that. Are you all forgetting that snog?"

"Oh, that's not evidence of anything," scoffed Gwen.

"And he's been out drinking with him -"

"Because he was helping the man come to terms with his trauma! Not getting him into bed!"

"You know what Jack's like," said Owen, shrugging. "Probably thought it would help. Why are you so opposed to the idea, Gwen? Not jealous, are we?"

"No!" she said, and then stopped. Why was she so opposed? It seemed obvious, come to think of it. Certainly it explained why Ianto looked as though the sun had died. Maybe it had - Jack was a bright star, hopelessly compelling, and they were all held in his thrall.

"Do you think he was in love with him?" she said thoughtfully, staring at the grainy CCTV image of Ianto down in the darkness.

"Nah," said Owen, scoffing, then looked at the screen too and went quiet.

"Certainly puts things in a different light," said Tosh quietly, and Gwen cursed Jack for the millionth time. Why had he done this to them? Didn't he realise how much it would hurt Ianto? How _could_ he?

"I'm going to go and get that coffee," said Gwen, and headed to the kitchen.

Gwen wasn't sure what she planned to say to Ianto. She wasn't sure they'd even had a meaningful conversation before. But she was leader now, and she had to look out for her team. She wasn't going to mess everyone around, not like Jack did.

Ianto didn't look up as she approached.

"I brought you a cup of coffee," she said, and he started. She smiled.

"You didn't have to," he said. "You should have called. I would have made it."

"We all know how to operate a coffee machine, just about," she said. "We can cope without you being there to top us up all the time. But you've been down here a long time, and I thought you could do with one."

Ianto took the coffee from her and nodded. Gwen went to speak again but he just smiled humourlessly and walked away, deeper into the archives. It was dark, down here, and tightly packed, filled with hundreds of years worth of alien artifacts salvaged from Torchwood One, coupled with years of records of Torchwood Three. So much information, so much value, and only Ianto knew anything about it. He slid expertly through the piles of objects, making his way to the lines of tightly-packed filing cabinets; Gwen followed, undeterred.

Ianto reached the end of the narrow lane of cabinets, glanced back at Gwen and began sliding files from the top of the cabinet nearest him.

"Want a hand?" said Gwen.

"No thank you," said Ianto politely. He began sliding the files into the appropriately lettered drawers.

"Have you thought about taking a break?" she said, unwilling to give up.

"I'm fine," he said. Gwen raised her eyebrows. Ianto didn't look at her.

Gwen looked at the pile of files, standing on tiptoes. Seeing that it was a relatively simple system, Gwen grabbed another pile of files and began to work alongside Ianto. Ianto stiffened, but did not protest.

There was silence, for a while, Gwen quietly sliding files into drawers. It was dull work, but Ianto seemed to find it therapeutic; Gwen studied his profile as the tension slowly eased out of him.

He turned to move to another cabinet, and nearly bumped into her. He looked surprised to see her for a moment.

Gwen twisted awkwardly to allow him past. Ianto opened up a drawer between them.

Gwen turned back to her filing, strangely tense.

Ianto slid behind her again, and Gwen reached out to get more files; she found her hand beneath his. He looked at her, raising his eyebrows, and Gwen smiled and let her had drop.

"Are you alright, Ianto?" she said, taking advantage of his attention. Ianto looked as though he wanted to turn away, but the corridor was narrow and the open drawer to his left prevented him from turning that way. Gwen prevented him from turning the other.

"Why wouldn't I be?" he said.

Gwen just looked at him.

"I'm fine," he said. "Excuse me."

He tried to move, but Gwen touched a hand to his chest. Ianto looked down at it, angry. They were very close.

"I miss him too," she said softly, and Ianto snorted.

"He doesn't deserve all this," he growled. "He was never going to stay anyway. It's never been about us, even when we're all about him. He doesn't deserve all of us grieving over him."

"Maybe he does and maybe he doesn't, but that doesn't change anything about how you feel. You have a right to miss him."

"Really? I was just his part-time shag," he said. Gwen stared, horror and fury warring within her. Poor Ianto, caught up in Jack's spell, and couldn't she empathise just a little too well with that? Jack would never make her a 'part-time shag', she had Rhys and a normal life, but she still loved Jack all the same, they _all_ did in one way or another. And he'd _left_ them. Betrayed them without even glancing back across the Plass. And Ianto had been hurt worst of all, by the sounds of it, because Jack had allowed him to get close and then swanned off as though he meant nothing.

She hated him.

"I hate him," whispered Ianto brokenly, and Gwen looked up. There was desperate unhappiness in those eyes, and his body was so very close to hers, and with Jack gone who else did they have to console them? She leaned upward and kissed him softly.

"You're not alone, Ianto, don't forget that," she said, catching him by the arm. "I'll leave you in peace now."

Ianto looked a little surprised in the dim light. She turned to go, and he stopped her quickly, opening his mouth but seeming to stick on the words he wanted to say. Gwen looked up at him, and he smiled tautly.

"Thank you," he said softly, and leaned down to return the kiss.

It was obvious to Gwen that it had only meant to be a chaste mimicry of hers, but she'd gasped in surprise against his lips and his mouth had opened too, in response, and the comfort of his lips seemed too tempting to release and suddenly he was pushing her gently against the cabinet, entwining his fingers in her hair as he tasted her mouth in an expert manner that couldn't help reminding Gwen that Jack had kissed these lips too. And suddenly she was holding on tightly to Ianto's jacket, pulling him tight against her, and Ianto was gasping softly, and Gwen felt the heat flare in her when she realised how easy it would be to keep her eyes closed and carry on here, in the dark of the archives, with the memory of Jack held tight beneath their fingertips, a silent _fuck you_ to the man who'd hurt them. She could do it, and she wanted to, and wasn't that a thrilling thought, but this was madness – what was she thinking?

Gasping, she broke away, and Ianto stepped back immediately.

"I'm sorry, Ianto," she said, before he could, because Ianto was grieving and she should have known better and the last time Ianto'd been offered that particular type of solace it had all ended rather poorly. She wasn't going to confuse a bereaved man, not like Jack had, even though for a moment there she'd wanted to cling on as though she were the one breaking.

"Don't worry, Gwen, I think we understand each other," said Ianto, with a sad smile. "Go and finish whatever you were doing. I'll be out in a minute to make tea."

Gwen smiled back, a little embarrassed but mostly sad. She hesitated, and Ianto squeezed her arm.

"I'll be fine," he said, and offered her the first genuine smile she'd seen since Jack.

Gwen smiled too. So Jack had left, and they were all suffering his loss, but Ianto was right enough; they were Torchwood, they were a team, and they'd all be just fine.


End file.
